Park Dads: An Overview
Thursday, September 9, 2010
By: Mary Brady
I’m a stay-at-home mom to my 4-year-old daughter and as such, I am always searching for ways to get out of the house and into the world. I would love to say that I take my daughter on fabulous hikes, informative museum trips and culture-packed jaunts to the big city on a daily basis, but I would be lying. Mostly we stick close to home and explore our suburban parks and playgrounds. My daughter swings the hours away and I check out the other parents and try to imagine what they’re all about. If you go to the park often enough you start to see certain patterns emerge. There’s always The Yoga Mom, The Over-Protective Mom, The New Mom Whose Baby Is Way Too Young To Be In That Swing, The Mom Who May Or May Not Have Chardonnay In That Starbucks Cup, etc… But what about the dads? In the past year or so I have noticed a huge surge in the number of dads who are bringing their kids to the park. Luckily, most of them are seemingly normal, run-of-the-mill guys but I have noticed a few specific types that stand out like a sore thumb…
1. The Dad Who Doesn’t Spend Much Time With His Kids: This dad always makes my heart hurt. He doesn’t know what his kids like to do and he doesn’t know how to communicate with them. He can be easily indentified by the fact that his child is saying something along the lines of “You packed me a peanut butter sandwich? I’m allergic to peanuts.”
2. The Dad Who Never Grew Up: This is the dad who doesn’t let his kid win. He’s running faster, swinging higher and generally endangering the safety of all of our children while leaping from the zip-line to the slide, like a cargo-shorted ninja. Steer clear.
3. The Dad Who’s Clearly Having A Text Message Affair: This guy is hunkered down protectively over his phone or PDA like it’s the Crown Jewel. He has a stupid grin and his eyes are darting around the playground nervously. He’s so busy looking over his shoulder that he doesn’t notice his child screaming for help at the top of the jungle gym.
4. The Uptight Dad: This guy is wearing a suit and tie on a 90-degree day and he can’t find any way to relax and have fun. He checks his watch a lot and doesn’t like it when his kid starts getting too loud. He doesn’t know how sweet life can be if you throw on your flip-flops and have a run through the sprinkler.
5. The Creepy Dad: This is the dad who is checking out all of the moms, or worse, nannies. He leers, he winks, he’s gross. He may or may not be married and it doesn’t really matter. He’s just creepy.
6. The Free Range Dad: This is the dad who thinks that kids will be kids and that intervention is entirely unnecessary. I’m all for letting kids work things out on their own but I have my limits. If your child is standing on my child, I would like for you to say something. And no, you may not have a sip from my water bottle.
So, these are some of the types that I have identified at my suburban Oregon playgrounds. Who’s hanging out at your local parks? Please feel free to add to the list!
Mary is a Northwest-based, insomnia-ridden mother who likes to unravel the great mysteries of life on her blog, THIS HUMAN’S CONDITION.
*Note From The Average Parent: We know there are some great moms and dads who visit the playground with their children. We salute the dads who are involved with and tend to their children and love to poke fun of the few who aren’t.*
While I know your article has its points and is very valid I must defend those of us full time single fathers who are in the same boat as yourself. I have 3 kids from 15 to 5 and their mother is no longer in the picture other than minimal visitation since she is half way across the country.
Please do remember there are those of us of the male gender who make every effort to be a “normal” parent and be involved in their kid’s lives including time at the park. We work to provide a life for our children and come home to ensure they have quality time as well.
I have to note that you forgot the “regular stay-at-home dads who just plain love their kids, want to raise them the best they can, and are dying for some fresh air”. (My husband is one of those.) Armed with a fully stocked diaper bag, an extra juice box or sippy cup, a first aid kit, and sporting cargo shorts, this is the best kind of “park dad” and I’m proud to be married to one.
Wow, sorry folks. Maybe I should have posted that a lot of what I write is tongue-in-cheek. Also, you may have missed this sentence: “Luckily, most of them are seemingly normal, run-of-the-mill guys but I have noticed a few specific types that stand out like a sore thumb…” My husband brings our daughter to the park as well and I’m glad that many fathers do.
haha! but you forgot Hot Dad! methinks Hot Dad is the reason Yoga Mom only wears her sports bra with teeny tight tank top & puts on full makeup to the park.
Lol. What fun are seemingly normal, run-of-the-mill guys?
I think the biggest difference in the dads I see depends on if they have little girls or boys. And oh yes, there is a difference…
With as much stress as we are all enduring these days I find your edgy wit to be a nice escape from the endless barrage of writing on topics that people are taking way too seriously such as the morality of pastor-sanctioned book-burnings and the debate about whether or not it is evil to build a house of prayer near a place of great suffering.
Your article, on the other hand, has me imagining a whole bunch of other groups one might see at the park, including a group I imagine myself in called the Ah Screw It Moms. We are known for our fashion faux pas that scream: I know this outfit is too young for me but damn it’s comfortable and I’m nearing the delightful age of I don’t care whatcha think! Laughter IS the best medicine…Write ON!
Hehehe- You’ve left out hippie dad. He was at my park the other day. He’s not wearing shoes running around in the bark and wearing hemp shorts, swinging from the monkey bars and having a blast. Always makes me wonder what his other half is like.
Lawyer who likes her perpetual child-like hubby? Hippie, also, they just work different shifts?
Or maybe he’s trust fund guy, like the ones I went to college with?
Other people’s lives are probably way more fascinating in my head, I’m sure.